I might have issues, but I'm not dysfunctional

About a week ago, I received a text that said this: "Why do you think you're 32 and you've never been married?" 

Maybe I misunderstood the tone of the text, but I really don't think so given the source. In other words, this person was saying, "Do you realize that you're 32 and dysfunctional...and that's why you're not married?"

I almost fell out of my Hoveround...because apparently 32 is quite up there in years. Almost time to apply for my AARP membership.

Well, I might have issues but I am not dysfunctional...

I have always been aware that because I'm a single mom who never married my son's dad there will be some people who stereotype. That's just life. Unfortunately, there is a stigma when it comes to single moms. Many are viewed as weak, second class, always looking for help (financial or whatever), and desperate. When life slapped me right in the face and I realized I was going to be a single mom, I made the decision that raising my son in a loving and stable home would be my number one priority. We were going to beat the not-so-great statistics of children who are raised in single parent homes.

Of course I want to find that person to share my life with. Of course I want to get married. But, when I made the decision to raise Brenn in a stable home, it meant dating was put on the back burner. I've dated and at times thought that I had found the person that could potentially become serous; but it just never worked out. Brenn has met very few of the people I've dated in the past 12 years. 

I have high standards and just recently I realized how important it is to stick to the non-negotiables. Non-negotiables are going to be different for everybody, but every single person who is dating should have them and should never compromise on those. For example, I am a Christian and it's a very important part of my life. The person I'm dating might be perfect in every way, but if he's not a Christian then it just won't work. So yes, I guess I have high standards and I'm picky. My decisions affect not just me, but also Brenn.

And, yes, I do have issues. I struggle with low self esteem, I struggle with trusting people...the list could go on and on. Yes, I'm 32 and and I haven't been married. However, I won't allow negative people to tell me that I'm dysfunctional or there's something wrong with me.

One of my favorite quotes is from Eleanor Roosevelt: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Long story short, my lesson for the day is this: Don't allow other people's negativity make you feel less valuable.

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It's My Pity Party and I'll Cry If I Want To

Today, I decided to have a full blown pity party. It's been a long time since I've had one, so I guess it was due. It's amazing how my thoughts snowball and them BAM...I'm having a good cry in my car at 8:00 in the morning. 


It all started with the realization that once again child support for the week was way low

...which transitioned into me thinking that I'm so tired of feeling like I'm constantly struggling financially

...and feeling guilty that Brenn is the main one affected by the lack of the other parent's involvement

...and if I wasn't so dang picky, maybe I would find someone

...and feeling so tired of being the one in charge

...and not feeling secure

...and thinking that I always need chocolate when I'm emotionally distraught

...and being embarrassed that I'm now sitting in front of my work crying my eyes out because I'm just tired of it all

...and good grief, can this crack in my windshield get any bigger??

....darn those delinquent neighborhood kids with BB guns...

So, after my snowball of thoughts and the listening ear of one kind victim coworker, I finally calmed down, remembered what I need to focus on, and left my pity party.

Until the next time anyway...

Weekly Recap: Decorating and Planking

Well, I might have been preoccupied with my addiction to Words with Friends and SongPop to write any more posts last week...

Or maybe I was just really busy, which I was. 

Every year, my church has a women's event called Holidays That Honor Him. For the event, women are asked to host a table; and for the first time I decided I wanted to host a table. I asked one of my other single mom friends if she would like to host the table with me because I was too scared to do one myself. Thankfully, she said yes. As hostesses, we were responsible for providing the dishes and picking a theme, so we decided to do a St. Patrick's Day table.

Our inspiration came from this picture:


This was our table:


It was a great night. The food was wonderful and the speaker was hilarious. I will not disclose how many calories I ate that night...

Alright, on to health stuff. Two weeks ago, I decided to recalculate the number of calories I'm supposed to eat a day. I put the new calories into effect this past week and ended up losing 4 lbs. I gained a couple for a short amount of time at the end of the week (because of some food choices) but overall I learned that I wasn't eating enough calories. Secondly, I learned how much better I feel when I don't drink Mountain Dew. I didn't have one all week and I have slept so much better. 

Last week, my challenge was to add fruits and veggies to every meal. Believe it or not, I had a little trouble with this. Since I'm not used to adding fruits and veggies to all my meals, I had to constantly remind myself to do it. It certainly isn't a horrible habit to have. This week, I am not allowed to have any fast food at all. This is a big step since fast food used to be a staple in our house (sad but true). I think down the line I can be a little more lenient with this. My goal right now is to avoid fast food altogether until I feel like I can go to a fast food restaurant and make better choices.

So far, these have been my challenges:

1) Plan out my daily menu 

2) Drink 8 oz. of water every hour (this has been a struggle)

3) Add fruits and veggies to every meal

4) **This week** No fast food

I also joined a challenge on Facebook which included planking every day. I just started doing this on Sunday. Since many of my fitness classes require planking, I was able to keep it for about a minute. I'm looking forward to improving that time! I saw pictures on Instagram from people who could plank for eight minutes or more!

(Day 1 of PlankADay)

Alright, well enough of my rambling.  I hope ya'll are having a great week! I might get another vlog up this week...hopefully.

Weekly Recap: My Renewed Love for Irish Men and Drinking Water

I really enjoy the weekends where I don't have many places to be. This weekend was exactly like that. Brenn is in Fiddler on the Roof at our local art center, so he had a pretty busy weekend. 

 (Brenn dressed as the Rabbi's son in Fiddler. Love the beard!)

Other than getting him to his performances, my weekend was pretty calm. I caught up on some chores that have been on my to-do list, did some cleaning, and even watched some girly movies. I have been reminded after this weekend how much I really need to move to Ireland...

 (Love this movie!)

Alright, let's talk weight loss. This past week was a pretty good one. I joined a group challenge on Facebook and have continued to work on my weekly challenges. My focus this week was on drinking more water. I'm pretty sure this is the longest amount of time I've actually stuck with drinking water all day, everyday. I even noticed today that I'm not craving Mountain Dew, which is usually my drug drink of choice. I didn't even buy a 2-liter tonight while grocery shopping. That is a huge non scale victory! This week, I'm working on adding real fruits and vegetables to every meal. I kind of already failed at this one today. I didn't have a fruit or vegetable for breakfast, but I did with every other meal. I never realized the bad food habits I had until I started paying more attention. 

I'm really excited about the group challenge on Facebook. These are the goals I made for November as part of the challenge:

1) Continue tracking my food on My Fitness Pal
2) Lose 3 lbs.
3) Continue my exercise routine (Spin, Bootcamp, Running)
4) Up my strength/toning training (Right now I just do one hour a week)

5) Continue drinking my water 
 6) Start taking a multivitamin
7) Sign up for a 5k (my goal is to do my first 5k by the end of the year)
8) Buy myself a new outfit at the end of November if I stick to my goals!
9) Post weekly about my progress
10) Motivate others on My Fitness Pal
11) Start doing a plank a day
12) Begin the 100 pushups challenge
I lost 0.4 lbs last week. It's not much, but I'm expecting more this week since I recalculated the number of calories I should be eating. I wasn't eating enough!  

Note: Many times if you're not losing weight it's because you're not eating enough calories. Sounds crazy, but it's true.

Hope everyone has a great week! Don't forget to exercise your right as a United States citizen and go vote tomorrow (or today depending on on when you're reading this post).

Happy Friday! Photos From the Week

Woo hoo for Friday! 

I have moved up in the world and now have an iPhone, so maybe I'll actually take more pictures...

Find me on Instagram: MSMA31

Here are some pics from this past week. I'll try to limit the self portraits ;)

Hope everyone has a great weekend!