On any given day, he could make me feel like I was on top of the world.
And then there were those days when his actions would make me feel like I was wasting my time.
I thought he was everything I had been looking for...
Secure in his job
Confident with who he was
Loved his kids
Good sense of humor
Treated me with respect (or so I thought)
I never saw it coming...I mean he was already a part of my life but in a very different way. Because of a series of unfortunate events in both our lives, we were thrown together and began to rely on each other to forget the pain.
I was so happy at first. I felt like this was meant to be. I mean, I already knew him and he had played a pretty big part in my life already. And truth be told, I had always had a little crush on him anyway.
But as time went on and the days turned into months, I knew that this man was trying to put a band-aid on the hurt, pain, and rejection he was dealing with. I was just one part of that band-aid. No matter how hard I tried or how available I made myself to be there when he called, I couldn't make him feel about me the way I craved.
It was bad, bad timing.
I was holding on tight, but my self worth and self esteem began to hinder on whether or not he paid attention to me. I knew I had to let go.
I look back on this season of my life and I see it as a lesson and a time of growing. Even though there was so much hurt and pain during that time, I learned a lot about myself.